Hello everyone and welcome back to another great day at the Ballpark! We are here to watch Team Beer once again take the field. Ya know Johnny, Team Beer took a tough loss last season to knock them out of the playoffs and you gotta wonder it that is still lingering in there heads. I mean, it was a complete choke and meltdown when they just needed to win one game out of a double header.
The team that they are playing today is again from the church. Of course, with all the church teams there is a good 80% chance that they are always playing someone from the church but this one is special. This is the White church team that had a hand in their undoing last season. We’ll have to see if they can ignore the ghost of Christmas past and put a beat down on Jesus.
We can see the teams warming up and they look as out of shape as ever. Johnny, what’s your take?
Well Roscoe, as their name implies, they have a rigorous off season regiment of beer drinking to get out of shape for softball and it looks like we are seeing the payoff here. Their strict dedication to no exercise and fast food seems to have developed some might fine guts. I doubt there is one player on that team under 200 pounds. With only one exception, they are also all over 30. Ya know, seeing these athletes out there in the shape they are in just makes you wonder what kind of dedication it must take to perform at this level. It’s an amazing sight Roscoe.
Even right now I can see several players smoking as they are throwing the old leather around and in fact, yup, I can see it here, there are several that are not even to bother to warm up at all. Wow, that’s pure athleticism right there Roscoe.
Well I agree Johnny, it’s not everyday that we get to see a group of athletes so primed to pull hamstrings.
We are ready to start the game so everyone buckle up with your favorite piece of fried food and let’s get rolling.
Team Beer looks pretty good in this first inning Johnny. It’s got to be a little tough because once again they are plagued by injuries and one no show. I see on my crib sheet that both the first baseman and their pitcher seem to be out with leg injuries.
Yup Roscoe, that’s a tough blow for Team Beer as their outfielder is now forced to pitch and their manager is forced to play first. He’s great at the paperwork so lets see how he can do in the field.
There’s a shot to short, it’s fielded clean, the throw……….and an amazing catch by the first basement manager. Wow, it’s good to see some nice softball from the grandpa crowd.
There’s going to be a lot of work here because the pitching still seems to be giving them fits and the walks are starting to pile up.
Hossman walks up to bat, he’s known as Party Ball on the team and he looks it. Give us some human interest on this guy Johnny.
Well Roscoe, Hossman is having a little bit of a rough afternoon as he is currently without his lucky bat. He is a superstitious one that doesn’t believe in washing his socks after a win and he must have his lucky white lightning bat. He doesn’t have it and my guess is that someone is going to get fired after this game.
Excellent work Johnny, let’s get back to the action. Here’s the pitch—and it’s a slow ground ball to short. He scoops it and the play is made to retire the side. One man left on, the score is Church 2, Beer 4. We’ll take a short break and get right back to the action.
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Welcome back everyone. Team Beer is back in the field and not having a very good time of it. The errors are raining men around here and there have been some good ones. There have been several easy fly balls that have hit gloves and been dropped and then some wild throws. Johnny, tell them what they should have learned from Daddy.
Roscoe, every male in America knows that you are to use two hands. That’s what Daddy always said, use two hands. When you change a tire, use two hands. When you dig a hole, use two hands. And when you catch a fly ball, use two hands.
Right you are Johnny. Team Beer is back up to bat and here comes Party Ball Hossman up once again. We see that he has found his lucky bat white lightning and I hope that to many heads didn’t roll for that one. Here’s the pitch and it’s a deep shot to center, the center fielder is running under it, it looks like an easy play………He drops it! He Drops it. Hossman cruises into first and the lucky bat strikes again.
Team Beer is finally getting some offense here, trailing by a couple runs. The next batter gets a double and Hossman is able to score. It looks like Uncle Bricksalesman is sitting on first, waiting to come around. Here’s the pitch…..and the catcher drops it.
Uncle Bricksalesman is heading to second. The x-lineman is huffing and puffing like a mac truck and he is SAFE! That’s the first stolen base of the year by a man who seems to have a problem with wind drag. That’s gotta hurt.
A couple more hits and Team Beer has now tied the game.
Welcome to the top of the 7th inning. The score is 7 to 7 in the 7th. Johnny, I’m a little worried about this. 7 is Gods number and it looks to be straight across the board. Can Team Beer pull this off.
Roscoe, they say it every year, God loves Team Beer. I know that they are playing the church but come on, even God loves to take a shooter every once in a while.
There is one out, a man stands ready at third and first. There’s the hit, a sharp chopper to short. He fields it clean. The man on third is going. Short touches second for out number one and rifles to first.
The first baseman drops it! The first baseman drops it! Man o man, that’s going to sting because that was a perfect strike. The first baseman manager has had such a good game but an error lets the go ahead run in. Johnny, I just don’t think that Team Beer can come back from that one.
Blow me Roscoe, have some faith.
Team Beer is up to bat with their last 3 outs of the game. It’s 8 to 7 and they have a man on first and second. We have seen it all Johnny, the swinging bunt, missed balls but can we see some God loving.
There’s a man on first and second and Hossman is up. He’s gone 1 for 3 today Johnnie, let’s see if the lucky bat has some juice left.
And it does, there’s a single into center and the tying run comes home! I would sleep with him Johnny, god help me, I would.
Roscoe, I’m saving myself for that special someone named Uncle Bricksalesman.
The next batter gets on by an intentional walk and there is Uncle Bricksalesman skipping to the plate like a 3 year old girl. The bases are loaded, what do you think is going to happen here Johnny?
Well Roscoe, Uncle Bricksalesman is king of the swinging bunt but they need something just a little bit deeper today. A sacrifice fly could win this game.
Right you are Johnny. Here’s the pitch…..and it’s a fly ball to center. The fielder charges, the man on third waits to tag. O god Johnny I can feel the tension in my spine.
Get your hand off my thigh Roscoe.
The catch is made, the runner comes home, here’s the throw………….NOT IN TIME! NOT IN TIME! BEER WINS! BEER WINS!
Uncle Bricksalesman is clutch once again and Team Beer gets the win proving once and for all, God Loves Team Beer!