I dropped Bubba Hoss off at preschool a little bit ago. He was ready to go, asked to go, didn't even look at me when I dropped him off. I had to remind him that perhaps Dad would appreciate a god damn hug. Perhaps a high five if it's isn't to much to ask.
Then I left and came home. Little Hoss got on the bus and here I am, staring at the wall wondering what the hell comes next now.
I havent' had 4 hours to myself in a very long time. There is always someone pushing or pulling me, trying to pants me in the grocery store isle or throwing wads of food at my head. I am used to running around looking for potential danger zones while jumping over the claymore mines that my kids have left for me. I battle constant demands for more juice while cursing my backpack that smells like poo.
But now, the house is quiet. No screams, no injuries, no adventures.
I should be happy, right? I should look at this as a major milestone in my stay at home dad life. I vowed to get the kids into school and I am halfway there. Bubba Hoss goes to preschool twice a week for 4 hours a day. And during that time I'm supposed to do something although at the moment I can't really figure out what it is, thus the underwear and the wall.
I could look at porn, always a popular past time for a man in a house alone. But oddly, I don't much feel like it. I thought about doing some yardwork but without someone trying to start the lawnmower when my hand is underneath it, it sort has lost it's fun. I thought that some household projects would be great but who would put the glitter on it? I suck at glitter. It's wierd, I hate glitter and now I find myself missing it. Maybe I'll find a backyard pool that is empty and cover it in glitter and call over Ke$ha.
But that's no good, I don't have enough glitter for everyone and then it would just be awakward. I played some video games for a while but it lost it's challenge with no one walking in front of the screen and screaming "Dad, shoot him in the face!" I tried to get the dogs to do it but all they wanted to do was sniff my crotch. I appreciate the effort boys but I'm just not into it today.
So what I'm left with is eating some potted meat in my underwear. Sounds pretty manly, something that I could only do if I was alone. If my children where here they would want to eat it all by themselves and I wouldn't get any. If Hossmom was here she would be making gagging sounds while trying to talk to the divorce lawyer.
By myself though, it's a perfect activity to pass the time while I try to motivate myself to actually do something productive.
Like go to the grocery store, I do need to do that. It will be easy, no one pulling crap down from the shelves or begging me for candy.
And I do need a lot more potted meat, winter is coming and it might be a long one.